What comes with being me..

 Everyone has their flaws, some may be big or small. But everyone has them, no matter how much a person can deny it. Myself... I have a lot, at least I am willing to admit it! Yet, no one really knows them but myself. So today... I am going to let it all out, I am not ashamed of who I am.. and what comes with being Sarah. 
 As a little girl, I was always jumping around, nonstop talking. My mum never thought twice about it till 4th grade... I remember walking in thinking it was a check-up, then walking out... thinking I was weird. The doctor told me I had ADHD. Which stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. Over time I began to feel like I did not belong... I had to go to different classes, special teachers, different rooms than my friends. I felt left out and alone. To this day I still feel that way. But there is nothing I can do to change who I am. I am an energetic one. I am not ashamed, I am happy about always having energy! But things started to change...

 I remember one night not being able to sleep very well if you have read my blog before you will know I have insomnia. A lot of people have it! It's not some weird disorder. But it was affecting my work, my friendships and my life in general. I was no longer happy, I started to get depressed. Soon I felt like I did in 4th grade but 100000 times worse. High school is rough for insecure people like me. I soon began to feel alone in a crowded room. I remember the day I got my first Panic Attack. I was sitting in class while my teacher was talking.. it came out of nowhere. I thought I was dying. My vision tunneled and next thing I knew I was soaked with water. I soon began to get them once or twice a week... the depression hit hard. I started to self-harm... That day was the worse day I have ever experienced in my 16 years of living. 

 If you are someone who self harms. Please tell someone. I know you have heard this a million times, but I would be in an awful state without talking to my best friends. I was scared, alone and most definitely lost. I felt like nobody liked me... that nobody cared..but they did. People care about you. TELL SOMEONE...you will not feel so alone.

You see, everyone has there insecurity, there own flaws... I haven't even said all of mine yet.. but im getting things off my chest. Letting people see me as a real person, with feelings and a heart. A person who has learned from her hardships and is learning to love herself again.. I will finish this story someday.. if you would like me to. But just know everyone out there if your reading this.. know that you are amazing and beautiful...Be happy with yourself.. I doubted myself and I fell into a deep, dark hole of lonesomeness. Be happy for what comes with being yourself.. I know I am.